What to do with Mother’s Day?

Today is a hard day and I suspect it will always be so…it’s sad, complicated and on many levels so wrong. Yet for Teagan’s brothers it’s extremely important they are focused on celebrating the absolutely wonderful Mom that they have been blessed with. But…

It’s just not possible to survive this day without struggling to deal with the reality that Teagan’s own biological mother ended her life. How anyone could take that sweet, loving and innocent 8-year-old girls life is beyond any explanation or rationalization. For those who have lost a child, you understand that there are many days each year that you don’t live but rather survive.

On Mother’s Day, I have the added complexity that my mother was one of the many enablers (+ other relatives, a teacher, a doctor, a psychologist etc.) who made it impossible to get Teagan into a safe home. All knew little of her home life yet some even stated Teagan was safe in legal documents – and we know how that story ends.

I do feel blessed that Teagan had a wonderful step-Mom who loved her unconditionally, supported her at all times and was a role model that inspired Teagan. This despite numerous and ongoing attempts by her killer to alienate our entire family from Teagan. However, Teagan was simply too strong to be manipulated and too loving to let anything stand between her and those who actually loved her. Perhaps that ultimately cost Teagan her life. How sad is that…

Nevertheless a special Happy Mother’s Day to those who have lost a child (not to their own hand) and to those many step-Moms who have to work extra-hard to build a relationship with their step-kids. Your effort matters, your kids love you for it and you should be proud.

 

 

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