Four years

It has been exactly four years since our daughter Teagan was taken from us by a cold blooded killer. Sadly we just learned how she died this week and it did nothing the soften the loss, and frankly added to the trauma. In many ways it just made the whole situation more confounding and depending on the moment enraging.

https://bc.ctvnews.ca/i-relive-it-every-day-grieving-father…

The moment I dread most at the moment is answering the question her brothers have been asking from day 1 – how did she die? Explaining that she died was torture in 2014 but explaining how Teagan’s biological mother killed her with her bare hands, had a nap, cancelled some appointments and then put her dead body into a car is overwhelming. However, we will persevere, the boys will strengthen and we will remember the empathic, beautiful and funny kids Teags was.

Normally I share this content on her Facebook page but today I post here to remind anyone who is suffering or has suffered traumatic loss that you are not alone. It can be difficult to manage and communicate personal trauma in a business context. When it’s in the media its somewhat easier in the sense that you don’t have a choice on public awareness. However, regardless of whether your pain is ‘public’ or not you don’t have to sit in the shadows, feel shame or even awkward about your trauma. If you want to share it then you should and if you prefer to keep it to yourself then that works as well. The unfortunate reality is that all of us suffer trauma in our lives – some more that others but it’s a shared human condition. Everyone dies…and collectively we can do a much better job with the mourning and grieving process. We have some wonderful examples of how to do it right with former Vice President Joe Biden as exhibit A.

I hold steady to Teagan’s Voice demanding I remain focused on her brothers, saving our children in her memory and making sure she is always a part of our life – check, check, check. Thankfully few of you will suffer our families pain but that does not lessen yours. If anyone out there needs a shoulder or an ear never hesitate to contact me. I can’t bring Teagan back but I can continue to make her proud.

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